The Mostly Unabridged Chronicles of malackey

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021291.html

Lady on cell: She must have been humiliated by the parade of wives!

--Broadway & 72nd

Man to friend: Whenever I want to fuck my wife, she doesn't want to. But when I can't, she always wants to. I think she does it out of spite.

--12th St

(Elton John's Rocketman playing on radio) "I miss the Earth so much... I miss my wife..."
Barista: You don't miss your wife, Elton. You're gay!

--Small Coffee Shop, SoHo

Midget handing out fliers: Who likes comedy? (to man in striped shirt) Hey, do you like comedy? I like striped shirts, let's work something out here!
(man keeps walking)
Midget, yelling after him: No wonder your wife doesn't love you!

--Union Square Subway

30-something guy: Dude, that's so rude. Plus, she's going to be your wife soon, so you've got to stop calling her that.

--Hell's Kitchen

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http://www.avclub.com/articles/december-30-2009,36629/?utm_medium=RSS&utm_campaign=feeds&utm_source=type_savage-love

Set me straight. I married my wife several months ago after dating for three years. Things are generally excellent, except for one problem: When my wife gets drunk, she gets crazy flirtatious. She’ll dance close to people, touch them, hold hands. A couple of times, I thought it went too far and I told her she was making me uncomfortable. She claims it is just harmless friendliness/flirtation and she would never let anything happen.
Well, as it turns out, something did happen. After she was dancing, hugging, and getting kissed on the cheek by a woman I think ...

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http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021290.html

Subway girl in Halloween costume: I was thinking about going as Rosie the Riveter, but, like, girly Rosie the Riveter. In shorts.

--A Train

Trying-to-be-hip mom: What are vampires wearing this season?

--Halloween Adventure

Group of kids in costume, chanting: We want more candy! We want more candy! No more apples! No more apples!

--35th Ave & 29th St, Astoria

Overheard by: kathcom

Man dressed up as Michael Jackson on Halloween: I'm the King of pop, man! I'll touch your children! I'll hang your baby off a balcony!

--Downtown 6 Train

Late-night Halloween-reveler man with dirty cotton beard: I'm Santa. I'm drunk and I'm angry. Fuck balls. Reindeer balls.

--Downtown 6 train

Guy dressed as Billy Mays, in loud infomercial voice: Billy Mays here! Sick and tired of waiting for NJ Transit? Next time, drive! For the low, low price of $20 per toll! Just $4.69 per gallon!

--NJ Transit

Overheard by: J. Ra

Old man to another, about Halloween: I love young girls who dress up like pussies.

--Soho

Overheard by: Edan

Hey folks! My boyfriend's parents got us a 5.3 cu. ft. chest freezer for our (Brooklyn) apartment and we're busy filling it up with good stuff. Later in February, we're going to split half a cow with them and my bf's cousin & his wife. That will roughly be 120lbs of beef for each of the three households. Before that, I would like to start organizing it so we can know what to rotate and not lose stuff in there. Plus, over the course of the next week, I'm planning to do a bunch of batch cooking such as stocks, soups, etc to stick in there for easy meals.

So, I ask, does anybody have a template for freezer list? I know it should be simple enough to make & print it once or 2x/month, but I would like to have a rather efficient way of organizing it. Also, how do folks do a fridge/cupboard or pantry list for themselves? Do you simply list everything, make blank lines to add "We need more of this...", print and tape it to the fridge & cupboards? Or do you make handwritten lists and tape them up? If you have an Excel or Word file, would you mind sharing? I've Googled and am probably not using the right words for this search, "freezer list". Whenever I do find something (a while ago), it seems overly complicated like an entire food matrix or something.

I would like to have these for the new year because it would help immensely to know what's available in our kitchen so we could throw dinners together rather quickly or just meal plan for the week. My boyfriend can be bad about not cooking dinner if I don't initiate at times. He's completely content to eat a bowl of cereal. Since I'm restarting classes in January and running my design business, it would be great to have a bit more control or just plain organization in this area. Any help is much appreciated and thanks so much!

Cross-posted to poor_skills, hip_domestics, cooking

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021289.html

Girl #1: So what did you say to your roommate?
Boy: I told her she was a fucking slut!
Girl #2: Isn't your roommate your girlfriend?
Boy: Sort of.

--Astor Place

I've been neglecting LiveJournal. Oh my.
It's been a busy year. There's no break in the action anytime soon.
ugh.

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http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021288.html

Attractive 20-something man: Do you want me to sleep over tonight?
Attractive 20-something woman: Yes, but only if you put your penis in my vagina.
Attractive 20-something man: You've got yourself a deal.

--36th & 5th

Overheard by: lola

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I have a lot of silver jewelry (sterling silver and "fake" silver). It all needs a good cleaning.

I have silver cleaning cloths which work for the bold, all-silver pieces. But some of my pieces have stones or other intricate details that the cloths can't clean.

So, what options do I have? I tried some concoction that I found online (it involved tin foil, water, Dawn, and other ingredients heated over a stove) but it really did not work well.

I have seen sonic cleaning devices, but do they work? Or should I resort to scrubbing with a toothbrush?

http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/010503.html

Woman on phone: I thought that once my father died, my mom would be happy. But that was 25 years ago, and she's still miserable.

Huntington, New York

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http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/010502.html

Security worker: The girl they adopted was a grown woman, but she was a midget.

Fishers, Indiana

Overheard by: Answer the damn phone

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021287.html

Mother to bouncing daughter: No, you can not look in that window! Do you want to be a Peeping Tom?
Daughter: Let me see! Let me see!

--Redhook, Brooklyn

http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/010501.html

CSA: You might not be able to tell because I'm wearing a hoodie, but I work out a lot.

Manhattan, New York

http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/010500.html

Secretary: I'm going out, does anyone want anything from Fordham road?
Coworker: Are you going past a liquor store?

Fordham University
The Bronx, New York